Overcoming Fear & Moving Forward

So I have one scene left to flesh out before printing out the new version of Guarded and buffing out the hard edges, but I am dragging my feet. Seriously I can’t tell if it’s the fact that NaNo starts in a few days or the undercurrent of fear for what comes next. Mind you, I WANT to query, I WANT to publish, I WANT to share this thing I love so much with the entire world.

But the impending, soul-crushing rejections.

I know that fear is the reason why I’m struggling with crossing the finish line of this draft. Because if I don’t finish, then it can’t be rejected.

This post may be more pity-party than I intended it because I recognize that I’ve already come quite far in terms of creating something that people may [hopefully] want to read. But that god-awful fear. I don’t consciously fear much, so when those pesky subconscious ones rise up, they can be quite the little devils.

I imagine fear as a Gremlin, and my MS is poor Gismo.

I imagine fear as a Gremlin, and my MS is poor Gismo.

Like Gismo, I know my MS will kick fear is its arse, but right now, in this moment, I’m looking at my notes, then at my computer screen, then at my notes, then I walk away.

So in an attempt to get my mojo back, I went to the YouTube’s. Ya’know, like ya do. I spend more time on YouTube than I should for entertainment anyway, but I do a lot of research on there as well (especially in terms of what dislocating an elbow looks like – spoiler alert: it’s vomit-worthy).

Anyhoo, last year, Under Armour launched its “Will What I Want” campaign, which IMO was one of the most positive and inspiring campaigns created by an athletic clothing’s company. But they did this brilliant thing by launching the campaign with Misty Copeland as its first spokeswoman. A ballerina. An artist. A black woman who defied the standards of her industry to become the first black female Principal Dancer with the American Ballet Theatre.

Here’s the ad.

She’s an inspiration to people across the world, and even though I have no way of properly empathizing with her struggles, her work ethic and determination motivate me to keep chasing my own dreams.

So here’s me mowing over my fears and willing what I want.


Featured image via Hard Body News via Under Armour.

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5 thoughts on “Overcoming Fear & Moving Forward

  1. As someone who was swimming (and still is to be honest) inside a sea of irrational and conflicting fears I totally understand you. So let me offer you this perspective (which mind you I didn’t invent, I blame Susan Jeffers for it): Feel the fear and do it anyway. Let me also ask you this: what are you afraid of? Rejection? Other people’s judgement? Someone will think you ain’t good enough. These and all other fears are not real. Real fear involves physical danger, loss of life, etc., you know these probably better than I do from from your involvement with army. Everything else? Doesn’t exist, it’s just states of mind. And allow me to day that there will always be people who reject you, hate you, think you ain’t good enough, etc. I say meh. To both these people and the fears they instill in your heart. You are the power and authority in your life. Do what feels right to you and what you feel is good enough. If it isn’t good enough then you’ll adapt, fix it, try again, and again, until you succeed. The difference between you and the “aspiring” authors is that you are doing it and learning and moving ahead despite the fear, as opposed to staying aspired. Let me put it this way. You can do it. If not now then later. Just keep wanting it like you wanted nothing else and keep loving it with everything you have inside. Everything else is a learning journey, yes with fear, but still a journey of moving ahead regardless of how small the steps, because you dare. So feel the fear and go for it. I have faith in you. And I know you can succeed because you have nothing less than the other people who have done the same and were successful. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Your comments always brighten my day! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate them and you! Knowing that I have people who have faith in me definitely helps combat the fear, which you’re right that it is irrational. I did finish the draft over the weekend and began re-reading it yesterday after I hit my word goal for NaNoWriMo. So far, I’m pretty happy with it. I have notes for improvements in parts, but they’re relatively minor.

      Thank you again for your support, Aura! Don’t stop being awesome!

      Like

  2. This was me a few months ago. I had the sixth draft of my manuscript all shiny, shiny, but I still kept fiddling with it, because I knew when I accepted that it was finished I would have to let my baby out into the world. Enter our old friend, Fear. What if no one liked it?

    But I gritted my teeth and have been querying it for months now. My first rejection was a bit of a sting (I went though a couple of glasses of wine and too much chocolate that night!) but slowly, as the other replies came in (all no thank yous) they have somehow strengthened my resolve and pushed the fear onto the back burner. Nothing awful happened when they hit my mailbox. I didn’t feel any differently towards my manuscript.

    Someone out there will love your words, be it an agent, a publisher, or a reader if you self publish. And that’s why we write.

    Fear doesn’t hold any power over you unless you let it. I’ll be cheering you on, Breeanna!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Bev! This may sound super weird, but I’m prepared for the rejections. I know I’ll get them, and have made piece with that. But on days where the words aren’t coming or I just don’t feel like working on the MS, that silly fear pops in. Pesky little thing.

      And I’m cheering for you too! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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