Loving your story through rejection


Hi all. So I’ve been querying for quite some time, and safe to say, it is not going well. I had one spark of optimism during PitMad when my dream agent liked my pitch… yeah, that didn’t go anywhere.

But I’m not going to lie, querying has been this long roller coaster of dread, doubt and despair. Yay, alliteration.

As the rejections keep piling up, it gets harder and harder to stay motivated to keep chasing this dream, or to even think that I’m even worth achieving the dream. Cue tears. So I’m trying desperately to keep writing, keep pushing forward, and most importantly, keep loving my stories.

Because here’s the thing: If you don’t love your stories, who else will? GUARDED (the book I’m querying) means the world to me. Writing that story made me feel like my PTSD had a purpose, like there was a reason I went through that trauma. The MC Kjersten took on my MH struggles and was able to learn how to cope with them to create meaningful relationships with people, something I can only dream of one day being able to accomplish.

Somewhere along the lines, I’d forgotten these things because the rejections convinced me that the story was worthless, which in a roundabout way, meant that my trauma was meaningless, which of course lead down a deep, dark rabbit hole of awful. Woo!

Luckily, I have a brilliant friend who entertains my rants regarding what the industry deems “sellable.” Because that’s legitimately what publishing comes down to. You could do everything right. You could go to the conferences, take the webinars, take part in critique groups, enlist beta readers, and revise, revise, revise. But at the end of it, if whomever you’re querying doesn’t believe your story is sellable, it’s a rejection. Plain and effin simple.

That’s not a reflection on your writing or your story. And as difficult as it is to accept that – because believe me, I know that struggle – you can’t let those rejections tarnish your love for that story or how important that story is to you.

Wishing you the best,

2 thoughts on “Loving your story through rejection

  1. Hey darling, sorry about the rejections, I think it’s a part of being a writer. Your friend is absolutely spot on, the rejections are an indicator that the specific agent/publisher cannot sell your story, not that your story is worthless. It is unfortunately part of our struggles and I suspect that I’ll be going through the same soonish but I totally understand how you connect your self-worth as a writer with the rejections (and have gone through a similar struggle after a not-so-bright beta reader review). Telling you not to do it is pointless because we are human and it’s what we do. All I can offer is support should you need it and an ear should you need to talk.

    The main point is that if you can’t sell your story to a specific publisher or agent it doesn’t mean that all agents and publishers will not want it. It simply means you haven’t found the right agent or publishing house. Yet. Persevere, keep writing, keep trying to sell your work, be ready to change it when you sell it and an editor asks you to because of sellability reasons, keep believing in yourself and your unlimited creative power you hold inside. You can do this. You’re already doing this! 😀


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